Stay away from those who criticize, point fingers or put you down. Stay away from those who try to tell you who you are, what you do wrong, or how you can or can’t feel. They are choosing to be emotional bullies and walk the path of negativity. Let them keep that while you take the high road. Refuse to be abused, even when it’s with words. Real people are good with their approach towards you consistently, period.
Story goes back to my highschool days. I used to suck at history & geography. But my grades with maths, physics, chemistry & language papers were amazing. I was a 85-90% scoring student. I was a good chess player, i have played state level game 9 times to be exact. Most of my school friends were dead serious about football, that game never excited me. I was not crazy about sports in school, but i was fond of playing basketball or volleyball with my street pals. Because such weird interests, i made some friends outside my school. Most of them were my seniors, nobody cared because of my height & build. I think i look like a beefcake since forever. On top of that I hit puberty little earlier. In my class, i was the only 13 year old with some moustache & beard.
It was summer vacation after my grade-8. Few of my new streetsmart friends suggested to watch “THE MATRIX RELOADED”, of course it’s an amazing movie, but watching the same thing 4 times in 2 weeks smelled like a dumb idea. So we went to a DVD movie rental store to browse any other movie we can watch. Suddenly it started raining. One of my wise friends wanted to rent a X-rated movie. Let me clear, it wasn’t a porno. I agree some scenes were bit too much for our teenage eager brain. One of my friend’s neighbour girl knocked my door that evening and told me that she saw me renting/watching that movie. My “good student” image was really important to me & being an extrovert asshole i was, i cracked a deal within 20-30 minutes. Deal was; she will not say anything about that movie to anyone & we need condoms before locking doors. I lost my cherry that evening. She was 4 years elder to me & she started acting way too much romantic within a week, which was hella confusing. I had to cut everything bluntly because i wanted to focus on my studies, my friends, my chess, my piano lessons, my playstation, my basketball power forward position, my swimming classes & my 16 miles ride to a nearby river.
I am in my late 20s building strong morals & a big bank account, so that i can buy all happiness i desire for myself & my family. My approach to life in general is; “REMAIN TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT, YOU WILL SEE EVERY POSSIBLE SUCCESS COMING YOUR WAY”. That’s all i wanna see in my people. That day & today; whenever i say i like someone, my friends think i am talking about some latina’s fine ass. Never understood how to be romantic. Basically i never wanted someone so bad that i can imagine being in a relationship. I was into someone recently, let’s not name it a relationship. I came in touch with someone who walked the same journey as mine & she is living in my city since 2012, but i got to know her after 6-7 years. It’s amazing to see people who believe in same basic human values as yours. The sad part is; people & their predictable behaviour. Especially their inconsistency, that’s my biggest turn off moment. I have made some rules to lead a simple happy happening life & one rule says; Every liar is inconsistent & every inconsistent person is a liar. Whenever someone acts inconsistent, just cut that equation no matter it’s a friendship, relationship, fling or fuck-buddy. Once a person goes inconsistent, their next step is lying. That’s how every inconsistent person tries to justify their inconsistency.
Moral of the story is; Never offer half baked emotions/attention/affection, first you have to be sure about yourself whether you are ready!! I am a strong believer of KARMA. I believe if i can do something wrong with someone, some other person can do the same thing with me.
When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It’s not pride – it’s self-respect.
Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.
Bottling up your feelings is never a good idea. While you should always respond rather than react in any given situation, you still need to take the time to process difficult emotions, like anger or sadness. Bottling up your emotions might feel easy now, but it damages your mental health and overall well-being in the long run.
If you notice that something continues to bother you, don’t let it slide, speak up. Holding grudges will always hurt you the most and as the tension and turmoil increases, so does the pressure. Eventually those bottled up emotions explode creating conflict that would have been easier to handle in small doses.
Most of the time we humans hold ourselves back from pursuing our dreams because we care about the people who hurt us & moreover we consider their words in a negative emotional way. Let me talk about both and why so!!
How many times you thought “My dreams are impossible!!”. If your goals/dreams are practical/realistic enough to be pursued, never give up on them. It’s only you who knows own strengths & weaknesses. Don’t let someone else’s negative experience stop you from going after what you want. Follow your heart and take risks, don’t stick with the safe and easy choices just because you’re afraid of taking a leap of faith. Your dreams are not impossible and they should be bigger than your fears. Sticking to your vision will eventually beat to progress and yield the results you desire.
Sometimes we do feel “I am stuck with people who hurt me”. Never entertain those who walk over your sanity. Your life is precious and too short not to look out for yourself. Have enough self-respect & self-love to distance yourself from those who constantly mistreat you and bring you down. It may be tough and hurt for a while but everything will be ok, more importantly you’ll be ok. Walking away from a bad situation doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong. Leaving means acknowledging that it’s not about them seeing your worth, but you realizing your own worth.
You can not think of two things at the same time. In your quest for improvement, it’s vital that you concentrate on the things that truly matter. Your focus helps you place your attention on those values that will primarily assist you in attaining the heights you seek. Focusing on postive emotions, development & goals will leave you with no time to focus on negative things.
When you find yourself in a not so pleasent circumstance, always look on the brighter side. It might be a difficult thing to do when you form the habit of recognising the lessons in negative events. You will learn from these experiences & get even better. FOCUS on the positive side of life while FOCUSING on one prime meaningful thing at a time.
Do you know why people try to control someone or behave controling?
Because, they can’t control their own shit and they are not in the right vibration to control their own emotions. That’s why they try to control you. They don’t like your happiness & appreciation you receive. They always try to stop you frequently with different approach. In short, you are dealing a wishy washy real dickhead.
Guard yourself first. Help them understand life has more to offer. When you know you are not going towards a right direction, it’s better to take help or consult friends/family/whom you believe. Life is about sharing goodness & happiness. People who plan dorky things need to find themselves at right place before they vibe right.