A high school teacher once said; “Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”. I took those words bit too seriously i guess. Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes: Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway: Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love. When you are filled with anger or hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care. Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
I hangout with the same set of friends since past 500 years if i am right. Let me answer the reason why so!?? I already know who true friends are, so never really felt the need to have new ones. I am very cautious while living my life independently unless someone is this compatible, and by this I mean, they think the same, express the same ideas and they have the same values. Reason behind all is a flimsy world where people come to life with ulterior agendas. I have always said that i hate two kinds of people; 1-People who lie, 2-Inconsistent people.
And my observation says every inconsistent person is a low-key liar. And there is no big or small lies, every lie is a lie. Back to point 1 again, people who lie are nothing but boring. That’s the reason i have a small group of friends that i cherish like life. Liars never understand; BEING BAD IS ACCEPTABLE IF YOU ARE REAL.